Wednesday, June 27, 2012


Ok, time for a rant.

When I lived in Colorado, cyclists were treated with a sort of disrespectful contempt the likes of which I haven't seen anywhere else in the world. There are just so many people on bikes that they become a nuisance, a pest, an invasive species. The contempt isn't entirely ill-founded, either, given that cyclists use public roads and yet 1) effectively don't pay any tax to do so, and 2) tend to completely ignore the rules of the road, which apply equally to anything with wheels. During my stint as a park ranger, I would make a point of stopping anyone on a bike who wasn't riding single-file and remind them that the Colorado revised statutes required them to do so within 300 feet of any car. I knew a guy who, when making hay deliveries for the feed store he worked for, would purposely drive the flatbed truck just ahead of any cyclists on the shoulder, spraying them with fragments of straw. Another friend fashioned a prod from a boxing glove tied to the end of a broom handle, and would drive up and down the winding mountain roads near our college (popular with bikes) and poke at cyclists out the passenger window. There was revulsion, but it was mutual; bikers hated drivers and drivers hated bikers, and all was right with the world.
Ah, but Tennessee. Here in Tennessee, bikers still hate drivers, but drivers seem to treat bikers with the sort of frightened reverence usually reserved for large, man-eating predators. Perhaps it's sensible that here cyclists are considered an endangered species, as they do seem to be few and far between (for whatever reason - some are obvious, but not all are). I have seen drivers veer fully into oncoming traffic to avoid a bike on the shoulder. Of course, this makes no sense at all, and to me particularly it seems reason enough to revoke one's license. Strange as it seems, in this state I have probably seen more of those "Share the Road" signs and bumper stickers than I've seen cyclists.
Maybe the issue is that people in Tennessee don't actually have a good grasp of how far 3 feet is. Three feet is the legally required distance between a car passing a bike on the shoulder, but of course there are caveats. But I doubt it. My complaint arises in that the caveats apply to the cyclists, not the drivers, and yet the cyclists here never even appear to contemplate whether any laws might be in place. Let the idiot drivers move into the wrong side of the road, never mind riding single file or obeying traffic signals or staying "as close as practicable to the right-hand curb or edge" of the shoulder. Cyclists, beware - I know the rules that apply to you!
The system in Colorado, while never explicit, may seem brutal - but it works. Cyclists and drivers alike share the road in a sort of mutual unease, making everyone safer. But if drivers in Tennessee are willing to face 55mph oncoming traffic instead of being 3 feet from a cyclist, and cyclists are willing to let it happen, then we'll never reach any kind of mutually beneficial accord.
I think I have some boxing gloves in the attic...

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Top Five

Looking back through my recent posts, I feel I've been a bit serious. Serious isn't inherently bad, mind you, but in order to lighten the mood for the middle of the week, here are my choices for top five song spoofs. Enjoy.

#5 - Colorado Girls (parody of California Girls)
You probably won't find this as hilarious as I do if you're not from (or currently living in) Colorado. But anyone who grew up there can recite the Tom Shane radio commercials on command.

#4 - Canadian Idiot (parody of American Idiot)
Man, I love Canadians. I probably should have been one.

#3 - Tebowie (parody of Major Tom)
When I first saw Jimmy Fallon perform this (in costume), I almost cried.

#2 - White and Nerdy (parody of Ridin' Dirty)
This was a toss-up... #2 and #1 are very close. If I had to choose just based on video, this would be #1. Is it bad that I understand every single reference?

#1 - The Saga Begins (parody of American Pie)
I gave this one the top spot because it's impossible for me to hear the original without these lyrics instead. Weird Al is a genius.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Venus, once more

Just a shot of what we were watching yesterday (taken with Evil Dr. Pain's camera and some welding goggles).

Tuesday, June 5, 2012


Don't forget - today you'll get the opportunity to watch Venus track across the face of the Sun. It won't happen again for 105 years, so better get out there with your pinhole projector!