Friday, September 3, 2010

What religion should be

No one move
No one speak
Please don't say that it's just me
It's not just me

And even though
I won't forget
Just don't want this to end just yet
Not just yet

But if I had one chance to freeze time
To stand still and soak in everything
I choose right now

If I had one night where sunshine
Could break through and show you everything
I choose right now

If this is it, all we have
I know I've done all I can
If this is it

And we can't stop
And start again
We can't fast forward to the end
This is it

But if I had one chance to freeze time
To stand still and soak in everything
I choose right now

If I had one night where sunshine
Could break through and show you everything
I choose right now

Before the fears that I once had
Start coming back
And I can take the stings and stones and fire
'Cause I know you'll make it all worthwhile
And I ever time I thought it's over, ah,
You finally dragged me up again and again
Oh, please come back again
Oh, please come back
Again

And I'm so scared
I might forget
Just don't want this to end just yet
Not just yet

But if I had one chance to freeze time
To stand still and soak in everything

I choose right now


If I had one night where sunshine

Could break through and show you everything

I choose right now


Before the fears that I once had start coming back
Again

As is usually the case, enlightenment came when it was unexpected.
I hard a difficult time waking this morning - when the sun won't get up, neither can I. Regardless of how much sleep I've had, the SAD prevents me from waking refreshed and ready when the sun doesn't shine, and today the dawn was overcast. Mornings like this, my brain is as foggy as the clouds above the river; I switched on the solar-spectrum lamp, but it was too little too late. Desperately lonely music, songs of utter sadness, played through my head, unbidden and unwanted. Nothing comes together the right way on days like this; the sun was hidden, my teeth hurt from the grinding they'd been subjected to overnight, I couldn't get my hair right, none of my clothes fit properly, I chugged two full glasses of diet Coke only to nearly drop the glass; it was going to be "one of those days." I could tell from the moment my alarm sounded.
Walking through the allotment on the way to work (late, as is usually the case on overcast mornings when I suffer so), the sky still a back-illuminated grey like sunlight through dark, sheer curtains, a random Newton Faulkner song came on my iPod. And I was struck dumb, fastened to the spot. In his simple, guitar and soft voice way, he said: "if I had one chance to freeze time, to stand still and soak in everything, I choose right now." And that's exactly the point.
Religion should not be dogma; it should not be atonement or salvation or grace, or, at least, it should not try to define these things. Religion should be a way of experiencing the world, a certain light in which to view everything around you. Being able to see a world, which on the surface (both physically and psychologically) is only grey, as something beautiful and magnificent and worthy of freezing into eternity - "I choose right now" - that is true religion. Every moment is worth choosing.
The clouds burn away. The sun's out.

2 comments:

  1. Delightful and hopeful.

    You might like William Golding's Double Tongue, about the Delphic oracle. Funny and right up your alley.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Burk, I'll look it up... always love discovering new music!

    ReplyDelete

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